Friday 7Th December I'm going to a funeral not sure but do i need to send a wreath/flowers?

might sound a retarded question but seriously i really don't know

Friday 7Th December I'm going to a funeral not sure but do i need to send a wreath/flowers?
Here in Scotland anyway one usually goes along with the wishes of the immediate family, unless you are quite a close relative and wish to send a floral tribute. Often if there is a death announcement in the newspaper and it was the wish of the deceased person not to have flowers it says so. I do think a card would be appropriate. At a Roman Catholic Funeral it would normally be a Mass Card (a special card signed by a priest and although not absolutely necessary usually a small donation is enclosed with it for the priest) although it you are not of the same faith a Sympathy Card would still be much appreciated. With most other religions a Sympathy card is always appreciated. Often also in a newspaper announcement or on arrival at the church/crematorium etc if the family wish donations to a particular charity they let it be known and there is normally a box somewhere. However, this would be a voluntary donation and only if someone wished to give. Black is no longer necessary to wear at funerals but I must admit recently it seems many people still do attend in black or dark colours as a sign of respect. Hope this has helped.
Reply:You don't need to send anything. We went to a funeral recently, brought a bouquet of Lillie's and placed them at the casket. Our next friend was cremated; we sent a donation to his favourite charity.





No need to send anything really, your presence and attention to your friend's family is all that is what is required if you feel you need to do this.





This is a personal time for you as well, you do what you wish.





Remember, they are in your mind and heart forever.





Good wishes.
Reply:No you don't need to send flowers but a card is nice.


My brother's death last yr was the same, unexplained and investigated and we had to wait for the autopsy- It's hard.


The greatest gift you can give is your presence and support.


I'm sorry for your loss.
Reply:It depends how close you were to the deceased, and only you know that.





Why not go to a good florist and ask them? They'll be experienced in that kind of thing.





If you really can't decide, then send flowers anyway. They won't be un-appreciated.
Reply:The customary practice is to send flowers through a florist beforehand. However, when a close friend of ours died suddenly of a heart attack we just took a dozen or so little pots of cyclamen for the tables at the 'wake'. When my mother died, I saw her the day before her funeral, and I put some beautifully scented freesias in her coffin. To this day I still cannot buy freesias.


But yes, to be 'correct' send some flowers through a florist. Or just go with a simple bouquet of beautiful and unusual flowers and ask for them to be placed on a coffin. I have been to so many funerals in my life that I think they are now relatively 'etiquette-free' - just do what your heart tells you. Go out into the fields and hedgerows and pick anything lovely.
Reply:Flowers are usually sent by family and friends - but there's no obligation to.





Did you know the person well? If you want to send some, then do. A lot of people these days give the option of donating to a specified charity instead - if you feel you can't ask the family then ask the funeral director instead.
Reply:Usually flowers/wreaths are given by immediate family members. You didn't say how close you were with the deceased or their family. A sympathy card is appropriate, and you could put $20.00/$25.00 in it if you want to help the family with expenses, especially if you are attending a funeral luncheon . There usually is a rack or drop box type thing at the front of the funeral parlor to insert the card. If you are not real close to the family, like a relative or even distant relative, your presence will be enough to help with the family's mourning.
Reply:Usually the person's family prefer to have a donation made to a charity of their choice. (If the person died of cancer they may want donations to go to Cancer Research instead of a wreath/flowers...much better idea.)
Reply:not really that necessary...I can't remember a single person that sent flowers or made a donation to cancer or heart research (which we asked for in lieu of flowers) but I can remember many who were present at the service we had for my mom.
Reply:Not unless you want to. Most families are most happy you just take the time to attend.
Reply:If you're a family member, close cousin, aunt, uncle, etc., or a really close friend, you would send flowers. If you're a family member but not close or a friend but not close, you can buy a sympathy card and put money inside, or sometimes at the wake they have cards that you can put money inside. If you don't do flowers or money a Mass Card, or a benefit card ex: the Cancer Society, The National Heart Foundation, generally people will donate to the foundation that represents the disease the person may have passed away from, which will either be listed in the newspaper or you can call the funeral home to get extended information.
Reply:Hi you could always ask if the family would like a donation to a charity in stead
Reply:It is a nice gesture but not necessary. Also you could give to charity and have them send a note to the family... kind of nice since they will have so many flowers and plants already.
Reply:Find out from a member of the family whether they would like flowers or a donation to a certain charity they or the departed may have supported in the past.
Reply:Do something useful and make a donation as most funerals often have collections for donation to specific charities, in my fathers case, donations were given to cancer research, other funerals I have been to were given to other cancer charities or the persons favourite charity.
Reply:No, the flowers are usually already sorted out by the next of kin.
Reply:They keep bodies that long where you live ???????
Reply:it's never easy knowing which etiquette to follow for funerals,if the person was well known to you personally,then i would say yes if not then a sympathy card would be ok,the other thing is has the deceased's family requested no flowers,but donations to a particular charity instead,but the main thing to remember is you attendence at the funeral,will be more significant to the family,i hope this helpsyou,