Wreath etiquette? Sloppy apology?

Where does the bow go on a wreath? I got into a bit of a squabble with an older woman in my office because I moved the bow on the wreath at the office. I think the bow should go at the bottom, which allows the green part to show. She got seriously angry with me and told me it went at the top. She wouldn't speak to me all day and I found out later that she MADE the wreath and that she was badmouthing me around the office. She was such a wreck, that I finally apologized for moving the bow. I told her I put it back where she wanted it and I apologized for hurting her feelings. Her response was a very snotty "Since you don't like it the way I created it, I'll just take it down." Sure enough, this morning it was gone. Not another word from her about it and she was all trying to be my best friend. Was I wrong in this? Any suggestions on how I could have handled it better? I was just stunned by her behavior.

Wreath etiquette? Sloppy apology?
I thought that the bow went at the bottom of the wreath as well. There are dozens scattered around my school right now and that's they way they all are.


This particular wreath, though, since it was made by the woman is an exception. She sees herself an artist and that her art- it's offensive to change an artist's masterpiece, even if it does just take the form of an everyday decoration (Just think of "the fountain"). You obviously didn't know that she made it, or even that she could consider it artwork- so you didn't mean to offend, so the way you handled it seems fine.


I'm sorry that I couldn't help you figure out how to further deal with the situation, but I do hope that I helped to make you understand why she acted the way she did.
Reply:I've seen bows on every part of the wreath -- at the top, at the bottom, a bit to the bottom side (left or right) . . . I don't there is any rule as to where the bow goes.





Personally, I don't think I would have fiddled with a decoration once it had been put in place. Who really cares where the bow goes, anyway? She obviously had a great deal of pride of ownership for making the wreath, and was insulted that you didn't care for her effort. By criticizing her effort, you were, in a sense, criticizing her. However, she took it to extremes, and her subsequent, "I'll just take the wreath down" was childish and immature. You apologized, and she still got huffy. Give up. You tried. She's just enjoying being angry.
Reply:Second childhood, huh?
Reply:Don't listen to the advice you have gotten, just remember when you want to be mean to your elders that you have parents that are getting old and one day you will be old too.





Just let it go and if i were you I would take her a candy bar and tell her again that your really sorry. You will look better then just letting it go.
Reply:If this is someone you have to work with every day, and truly feel that you need a good working relationship with this person, then you can't just ignore her until she goes away. You have to be proactive.


As an apology, you could give her a gift card (for a small amount - maybe $10) to a craft store like Joann's or Michael's, and put it inside a card with a quick apology. Mention how much you liked the wreath (skip the bow talk), and encourage her to bring in more homemade items.





If you want to really get under her skin, you can try looking for a card with a wreath on it that has a ribbon on the bottom of it. ;-)
Reply:You did the right thing. She is just a grouchy person. Ignore her.





Candybar??? Lol!!!! Let me make an aero for you.
Reply:Its a wreath, for F's sake, who cares? Let her be a sourpuss and take her wreath down. Just for that, you should put your own wreath up with the bow at the bottom.





Take her a candy bar? She's not a 5 year old. Bad advice. She's a grump old sourpuss. No candybar for you!
Reply:I bet she was stunned by yours too. What possessed you to touch the wreath in any way to begin with?





Next time, you can handle things a bit better by just letting things be as they are and allow yourself to learn a few new things. Your way isn't 'THE ONLY' way.
Reply:If you're stuck looking at it all day long and it's right at your eye level, you have a right to change it. If she had just said directly, "I made the wreath special for the office and would appreciate it if you could put it back the way I intended" it would have been a lot better.





Good for you for apologizing, but shame on her for being grouchy about the apology. I also can't believe she would bad mouth you to others though. Guess she never got over being 13 years old.
Reply:Don't mean to be disrespectful to this old lady, but yeah, she sounds senile......... come on, it's just a damn wreath!!! It's not like you went to her house to mess up with her Xmas decorations or threw up her Xmas dinner or something of the like!!! She definitely overreacted and I don't think you should apologize anymore than you already have. You already did, if it wasn't enough for her, tough. She'll have to get rid of her anger by herself now. You already tried to make things right and she wouldn't make an effort herself, well, I don't think she was worth the effort anyway then. Just let it go.......
Reply:Don't listen to old people she probably had dementia or was senile.
Reply:The problem started when you altered the wreath. Unless she asked for your opinion, you should have never touched it.